This Sunday would have been Bard's 453rd birthday. He may be best known for his plays and sonnets, but he was also a pioneer of insults. So to celebrate his birthday we asked the cast of Sh*t-faced Shakespeare for their favourite Shakespeare insults.


"Thine face is not worth sunburning."

Henry V (Act Five, Scene Two)


"Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon."

Timon of Athens (Act Four, Scene Three)


"I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands."

Timon of Athens (Act Four, Scene Three)


"Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee."

All's Well That Ends Well (Act Two, Scene Three)


"You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe!"

Henry IV Part 2 (Act Two, Scene One)

Much Ado About Nothing (Act Three, Scene Four)
Much Ado About Nothing (Act Three, Scene Four)


"Villain, I have done thy mother"

Titus Andronicus (Act Four, Scene Two)


"Thou art as fat as butter."

Henry IV Part One (Act Two, Scene Four)


"Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows "

Troilus and Cressida (Act Two, Scene One)


"The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes."

The Comedy of Errors (Act Five, Scene Four)


"Away, you three-inch fool!"

The Taming of the Shrew (Act Three, Scene Three)


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Sh*t-Faced Shakespeare - Much Ado About Nothing runs at the Leicester Square Theatre until 16 September.

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